Welcome to the worst club on the internet

Sorry you’re here but glad you’re here

All jokes aside, Dead Dads Club exists to make grieving feel less lonely. You don’t have to have a dead dad as a qualifier to join. My hope is for anyone grieving anything to find this and feel seen. While yes, the name was inspired by my personal loss, I’ve had my fair share of unexpected and varied versions of grief over the last several years. A home, a seven year relationship, a beloved pet, perhaps a whole identity? Just to name a few. I hope you’ll find value in whatever state of grief this finds you in.

A lil’ background on Dead Dad’s Club

I lost my dad in November 2022, five years after an Alzheimer’s diagnosis. Throughout the years, I unknowingly documented the messy experience of grief in google docs, voice memos, and notes because I knew the feelings I thought would break me would also be something worth coming back to.

I was 25 years old when he was diagnosed and because of my age, most of my peers couldn’t relate. I felt really lonely, despite having a lot of well intentioned people trying to support me. I also felt guilty. I was living in NYC, chasing a big life, while my dad was in Holland. It wasn’t until I found people who could relate, who were in the same shitty boat of losing someone they loved, that healing began.

However, finding these people and staying connected was way harder than I thought it should be. I kept thinking there had be a grief community that felt right for me, a place where I could go to feel less alone and have conversations with others I related to. But I couldn’t find it. Everything felt disconnected (granted, it was the thick of Covid) or outdated (I am extremely online and probably over-value modernity). What I did find, though, were a lot of people in my extended circle who had gone through something similar and were looking for the same sense of community.

So, I made Dead Dads Club. And I’m so glad you found it.

Here’s what you can expect

• Essays where I share my honest experiences with grief and other big emotions, live processing, and ongoing breakdowns/breakthroughs

• Paid subscribers will also receive access to:

  • Select Essays — the ones that really go there and need a safe space

  • The Chat — members-only, troll-free place for grievers to connect

  • The Monthly Workbook — a savable PDF with tools to aid with healing

  • The Monthly Circle — one grief circle per month to connect with people that get it. Zero expectations, zero requirements.

• Why the paywall?

  • To keep out the trolls and keep it a safe space

  • To support my work. All I want is for this to become my primary source of income so I can expand my capacity to give and build an empire to make grief less painful. I’m so passionate about this work and hopefully you’ll see that as you become more familiar with it.

  • If for any reason you’re unable to cover the cost of a subscription, but want in on all things paid, send me an email and we’ll find a solution. I never want money to be a barrier for healing.

And an important caveat: I AM NOT A THERAPIST. Everything I do is intended for peer support, not therapy or medical advice.

xoxox Merel